17A - Elevator Pitch Number Two
https://youtu.be/47FdhaGFsIE
https://youtu.be/47FdhaGFsIE
Reflection of feedback:
A lot of
the feedback that I got on my original video was positive, yet there were
comments to increase my energy and maybe get dressed up a bit more to make my
product seem more official. I was told that I should look at the camera more
instead of trying to look all around everything because it is confusing and
distracting to the audience, and I definitely realize that now! I definitely
think all of the feedback I received was very helpful!
What I changed based on the feedback I received:
This time
around, I definitely decided to change up the way I dressed. I put on a more
topic appropriate top and styled my hair more maturely; even added a bit of
makeup! One thing that I felt I really had to work on was my eye contact and
lessening how much I moved my arms around everywhere when I spoke. I also
definitely tried to change the way I spoke to the camera to make my topic seem
more engaging and not a bore for my audience.
Hi Madison,
ReplyDeleteI think you did a great job reflecting to your previous feedback. I can sense the level of profession and confidence you have in this pitch. In your startup, the question was a great way to get the audience thinking about your business idea. When you state your facts, maybe include a source you got them from such as a university or research program. The facts are really great, and adding this source will just prove creditability! I like how you included how much money the customers could save with your product. Who doesn't want to save money? Also, adding the ending about helping the environment adds a really great ending point as it leaves your overall business goal in the customers minds. I think the pitch overall was really great!
You did take the feedback to heart when doing this pitch the second time. You speak very calmly and collectedly, but maybe could add a little bit more dynamic speaking tones. I love your idea, as it is environmentally conscious like my service, so our customers would like both of our businesses. The part where you discussed saving money and taxes is crucial to your pitch, and I think it made all the difference. Having a reference for your statistics is also crucial, because it made your claim even stronger. Great job, you catered to your customer very well and with intelligent claims.
ReplyDeleteHi Madison,
ReplyDeleteI think you did a great job of improving your elevator pitch. I also think it was a great idea to include a question in the beginning of your pitch because it makes customers realize that they might not know much about solar panels, which might encourage them to learn more about them and possibly start using them. You did a great job of informing your audience about the use of solar panels in Florida, which is important for anyone who is thinking of beginning to use them.
Hi Madison,I thought you were very attentive to the feedback from the last presentation. Be more confidence. I think you did a really good job both times. Every time you give a talk, you take the opportunity to introduce solar panels. It's impressive and people want to try it. It's also important to survey and count the people around you who are using them, because their feedback will be more appealing to residents who want to try them out.
ReplyDeleteHey Madison!
ReplyDeleteI think you took the right rhetorical approach to "advertising" your product. You mentioned in the end that your product contributes to saving the planet, because of the nature of your product I think this is the best way to approach your pitch. However, your pitch was a little on the short end time wise. Use all the allotted time ! If you spoke a little faster, and made the pitch a little longer, you could fit more pivotal information into it and have a better chance at landing a meeting. I appreciate your tone, you talked directly to me. I didn't feel like we were watching a commercial or I was at a lecture. It felt very personal and a tad bit casual. I also appreciate that you took mind to your outfit. Your product is sort of a "luxury item" so I think you need to dress to fit the part. Keep up the good work!